Dear Pregnant Kendra

Dear Kendra;

Look at you, almost 9 months pregnant, 35 weeks actually. I know if you were asked 10 years ago if you were ever going to have kids, you would have laughed and had a non-commital answer, probably saying that the monkeys were going to be your kids.  Amazing what falling in love with the right person does. Now I can't imagine having a life without the possibility of having kids.

What I actually wanted to talk to you about was how this whole pregnancy thing has been for you, before you forget and fall in love with the little guy inside of you. 

You my friend have been very lucky. Remember that. And hope that if you ever get pregnant again, you will have the same luck. 

You had a feeling you were pregnant.  As you are fairly regular, and one - two days missed. You knew. As we were waiting a while for a positive, the test confirmed and as much as you wanted to call and tell Garett - you waited until he got home from shift.  Which was only a day or two.  And how did I tell him. By making a cake with the word DAD on it.   We were both so happy.

The first trimester came and went. Yes at times you felt like you were hungover for days at a time. But really, thats a feeling you have been in before with years of partying practice.  You didn’t feel vomit. You weren’t a bitch, no more than usual anyways. I think you were trying so hard to be strong emotionally, perhaps even a little detached. Just in case.  The last thing you wanted was to face that blank screen again. 

Then the day of the first ultrasound. Nerves all around. I know both you and Garett wanted to be excited. Both trying to be strong for each other. Just in case.

And we saw our baby. Growing healthy, with a nice strong heartbeat. Relief flooded both of you. 

We are having a baby. 

The news officially hit us, 12 weeks in.  You allowed yourselves to be excited. 

Onto the second trimester.  Again easy. You only really suffered from a bit of heartburn and sore backs. But I think the sore backs were only exacerbated by the fact that you sit in a car all day for work.  Nothing that Zantac and massages couldn’t help.

Week 20 finally came. Which has so far been the best day so far of the entire pregnancy. Because we got to see the baby. That ultrasound confirmed we were having a lilted dude.  And more importantly it confirmed that everything looked good. And healthy. 

The planning began. Garett and you agreed right away on the nursery. The name lists kept getting longer, then shorter, then longer again. 

Then the kicking began.  Another great moment.  Sometimes you got irritated, because you were really tired, but then realized it was  the one bonding moment you can have with your unborn child. You loved to feel the twists and turns, the punches and the kicks.  It’s the one cool, albeit weird thing that you will miss. 

With the third trimester coming to an end, (only  6 more weeks to go), the back pain and the urge to have to pee every 5 minutes continue. It makes sleeping a little difficult. That combined with your busy mind, some nights have been pretty restless.  Also  the marvel of how big one can actually get. Pants that fit one day and magically were to tight the next made dressing in anything but yoga pants seem a bit daunting. 

And with the third trimester comes the increase in doctors appointments.Yes the doctors appointments got tedious, waiting for what seems like hours, only to have your blood pressure and weight measured. But remember the thrill (and relief) of hearing such a strong heart beat every time.  That made it worth it.

Again. I know at times you probably wished you had some weird cravings, or random mood swings, just to have some stories to tell.  And I know sometimes you feel that you aren’t connected fully to this thing growing inside of you. But really, thats you.  You have never showed outward excitement over anything, but it doesn't mean you aren’t excited. 

Enjoy these last few weeks.  Take time for yourself. Pamper those feet and back. Prepare the house so you don’t feel overwhelmed.  But mostly relax.  Make sure you thank Garett. He has been amazing, offering massages, cooking dinners,  basically being a great support.

Take care and know in about 5 weeks or so you will have a little bundle of joy. 

Kendra