Gorillas= always amazing

 

 

Nothing makes me smile more than these little duffers. gorillas for the win!

this may happen from time to time

 

 

I think G can relate to this. I mean, at the moment I didn't want anything. But after looking at how delicious and refreshed you look, I think I want a little sip. Or maybe I didn't want to commit to anything at the time... ha hahah. Thats my reasoning and I'm sticking to it!

 

 

Have a laugh

 

hilarious!

BOOK REVIEW: Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

I though this book would be soooo funny. Out of all the comedian memoirs I've been reading lately (Ellen DeGeneres, Mindy Kaling) I had high hopes for Chelsea. I think she is a hilarious talk show host, I am usually nodding in agreement and thrilled that she had the balls to say some of the things we all think off. 

That is not what you get with this book. I was even drinking mojitos during the majority of my reading time! I kept expecting to laugh out loud, instead I was shaking my head.

She comes across as rude and lewd. They way she writes make her seem like a shittyfriend too. Very judgemental.  And truth be told I am also a judgemental bitch. I think thats why I like reviewing things, but really Chelsea, really? She however would be fun to play YOURS with.

The worst part, was probably the second last chapter with the midget. I would like to state that I have absolutely no problems with the vertically challenge but Chelsea's obsession with them was slightly terrifying.

I will provide a few of my almost laugh out loud moments and not just when you type LOL because you have nothing else to say and don't want to hurt the other persons feeling. (this is why it garners 2 stars)

"I rolled over and picked up Us Weekly magazine off the floor. The cover had a picture of Angelina, Brad, and their little Eskimo son, Maddox. I saw staring at the photo, wondering why this little boy looks so pissed off in every picture.

At first I thought he was just pissed about his Mohawk, but then I realized he’s probably furious. Maddox must have thought he hit the jackpot when some A-list celebrity rescued him from third-world Cambodia, only to discover that she was going to shuffle him back and for the to EVERY other third-world country in the universe. He’s probably like, “When the fuck are we gonna get to Malibu, bitch?”

 

 

“Then a homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This happens to be something that I have a real problem with: homeless people with pets who approach you for food when they have a perfectly delicious dog standing right there?” 

 

 

I did really enjoy the Prison Break chapter.

 

Based on this book, I am not sure that I will read her other books. I just don't think she can cut it as a writer. Or I would invest in the audiobook version as that may help.

 

2 stars

 

 

 

Been there!

to do:

just...one...more

REVIEW: All My Friends Are Dead

This book is perfect for the coffee table.
It's crude. It's funny. Totally inappropriate.
I love it because it is so simple, yet makes you chuckle.
The illustrations, while they aren't top notch artistry they work.
Here are some of the funny pages:

 

book humor

only slightly though...

BOOK REVIEW: Is Everyone Hanging Out WIthout Me?(And Other Concerns) by Mandy Kaling

 

I like Mindy Kaling. I like her in the Office. And every time that ‘Mindy Project’ commercial comes on, I think to myself that I should watch it.  I like her snarkiness, the in your face says what is on your mind humor. I only wished that it presented itself in the book more than a few times. I do wish there were more laugh out loud moments.  There were lots of “Ha Ha Ha….” moments though.  Like during her “alternate title’ chapter, with some gems such as The Girl With No Tattoo and Harry Potter Secret Book #8!

It is definitely more of an ‘Autobiography’ than Ellen DeGeneres book (link) latest book.  And it was humbling to read that she just didn’t land into being a celebrity. She worked at it, went to university, lived in a tiny ass apartment with her best friends, and then slowly started getting noticed.  I also liked how she seems like she is a great friend, based on her “Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities” essay.  I loved it and truly agree with all of them ‘ such as letting her know that she looks fat but in a gentle way. Her essays on different topics such as ‘I Love Diets’, ‘In defense of chest hair’  is in stark contrast to the first half of the book- in which she describes her traditional Indian upbringing, hanging out with a core group of friends and liking having quiet evenings in watching TV with her parents. But I like them; they added more humor to the memoir.   I found the whole one night stand being an opportunity to get murdered essay hilarious too!

And now for some quotes:

“I’m the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces rather than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.”

“I’m only marginally qualified to be giving advice at all. My body mass index is certainly not ideal, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars because I never have cash on me, and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked the Anthropologie Sale section. I’m kind of a mess.”

“I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.”

“Once I saw Paris Hilton leaving a restaurant in Hollywood and the paparazzi cameras were all over her. It looked so unpleasant. It wasn't because she didn't look sensational - she was that perfect combination of fashionable and slutty - it was because the paparazzi guys were shouting these insanely rude and intrusive questions at her. Like, asking her who she was sleeping with and stuff. I was kind of interested in the answer, so I was glad they asked, but it was still gross.”

“I don't want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat” (hahah this is so me and Garett).” 

It’s between 3.5 and 4 stars. It was a super easy read as she alludes to : “This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It’s mostly pink. If you’re reading this book every night for months, something is not right.” Which I think is awesome. It is entertaining at most points, not being in your face funny, but a write as you talk kind of book, which is my forte.   I also think I will now re-watch the Office and perhaps actually start The Mindy Project. I would also love to be her best friend now. Okay, this may be due  only to the fact that she compared her friendship to a Harry Potter reference and that was awesome! ("Bren and I befriended each other early on. We clung to each other with blind loyalty, like Lord Voldemort and his snake, Nagini. I, of course, was Nagini.")

 

yup..