Book Review: Now I See You by Nicole C. Kear

At nineteen years old, Nicole C. Kear's biggest concern is choosing a major--until she walks into a doctor’s office in midtown Manhattan and gets a life-changing diagnosis. She is going blind, courtesy of an eye disease called retinitis pigmentosa, and has only a decade or so before Lights Out. Instead of making preparations as the doctor suggests, Kear decides to carpe diem and make the most of the vision she has left. She joins circus school, tears through boyfriends, travels the world, and through all these hi-jinks, she keeps her vision loss a secret.

When Kear becomes a mother, just a few years shy of her vision’s expiration date, she amends her carpe diem strategy, giving up recklessness in order to relish every moment with her kids. Her secret, though, is harder to surrender - and as her vision deteriorates, harder to keep hidden. As her world grows blurred, one thing becomes clear: no matter how hard she fights, she won’t win the battle against blindness. But if she comes clean with her secret, and comes to terms with the loss, she can still win her happy ending. 

Received via net galley for free in exchange for an honest review.

Another memoir about someone I don't know. I really need to stop being nosey.  Some guilty pleasure of mine for sure.  Even when I googled her name, nothing came up that was like "ding ding ding thats her"

The topic intrigued me though. I mean, what if you were just going in for your regular eye check up and BAM you're going blind. And this type of blind isn't going to happen overnight, its going to gradually happen. I think maybe sometimes it might have been better if it just happened. That way you have to accept it. Not push it to the side for the pity party to be 5 years in the making.

I wish she would have asked for help. To tell people what was happening. Although that being said, I don't think I would have been upfront about it either. Because thats all you will be to people.  A blind chick.

I also really liked the crass language. No fucks given.

So yes I do recommend it, you don't have to know who she is to enjoy it.

Embarrasing Moment and a book review of I Like You Just The Way I Am - Jenny Mollen

For today's blogtober prompt, we are asked to talk about our most embarrassing moment.

 I get really flustered easily. And when I know I have to put myself out there I get major anxiety to the point where I just don't do anything. That being said, I can't really remember any huge embarrassments.  Major cop out hey?

Sure that time I got walked in on by parents. That sucked.  Or when I shit my pants. That hugely sucked. But I got over it. Actually no, it still burns in my mind... so  ya....  there it is.

So, speaking of embarrassing moments, this memoir Jenny Mollen wrote is full of them

This was another case of "I have no idea who this person is but lets read their memoir" 

And I'm glad I did. 

It was hilarious. I really don't know what else to say other than that.  Its a great, easy, laugh out loud read that I recommend for sure.

So, other than that stellar review what should I tell you? 

My favourite stories were the bachelorette party and the stalking therapist one. Again, you will just have to go and read them for yourself. She doesnt' hide away her crazy, and that's what makes it funny. And she is bat shit crazy at times.


“Something about having been with the same man made me feel especially close to her-like she and I had a shorthand that only people who'd had the same penis inside them could understand.” 


Also, go follow Jenny's twitter and instagram feed. Hilarious as well.


Synopsis: Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn’t). She doesn’t want much from life. Just to be loved—by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends’ dogs, her husband, her husband’s ex-girlfriends, her husband’s ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriends, etc. Some people might call that impulse crazy, but isn’t “crazy” really just a word boring people use to describe fun people? (And Jenny is really, really fun, you guys!) In these pages, you’ll find stories of Jenny at her most genuine, whether it’s stalking her therapist (because he knows everything about her so shouldn’t she get to know everything about him?); throwing a bachelorette party so bad that one of the guests is suspected dead; or answering the eternal question,Would your best friend blow your husband on a car ride to dinner if she didn’t know you were hiding in the backseat?

I Like You Just the Way I Am is about not doing the right thing—about indulging your inner crazy-person. It is Jenny when she’s not trying to impress anyone or come across as a responsible, level-headed member of society. With any luck it will make you better acquainted with who you really are and what you really want. Which, let’s be honest, is most likely someone else’s email password.- 

(received via netgalley for an honest review)

BOOK REVIEW: Drunk Mom by Jowita Bydlowska

Three years after giving up drink, Jowita Bydlowska found herself throwing back a glass of champagne like it was ginger ale. "It's a special occasion," she said to her boyfriend. And indeed it was. It was a party celebrating the birth of their first child. It also marked Jowita's immediate, full-blown return to alcoholism and all that entails for a new mother who is at first determined to keep her problem a secret. 

Her trips to liquor stores are in-and-out missions. Perhaps she's being paranoid, but she thinks people tend to notice the stroller. Walking home, she stays behind buildings, in alleyways, taking discreet sips from a bottle she's stored in the diaper bag. She know she's become a villain: a mother who drinks; a mother who endangers her child. She drinks to forget this. And then the trouble really starts.

Jowita Bydlowska's memoir of her relapse into addiction is an extraordinary achievement. The writing is raw and immediate. It places you in the moment--saddened, appalled, nerve-wracked, but never able to look away or stop turning the pages. With brutal honesty, Bydlowska takes us through the binges and blackouts, the self-deception and less successful attempts to deceive others, the humiliations and extraordinary risk-taking. She shines a light on the endless hunger of wanting just one more drink, and one more again, while dealing with motherhood, anxiety, depression--and rehab.

Her struggle to regain her sobriety is recorded in the same unsentimental, unsparing, sometimes grimly comic way. But the happy outcome is evidenced by the existence of this brilliant book: she has lived to tell the tale - goodreads

(Received through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.)

Confession: I love reading memoirs of people I have no idea who they are. I guess I am just nosey.  I find it so compelling to read someone elses' story, especially one like this that takes some guts to write. 

On that note; Drunk Mom is a great read. Its brutally honest, at times cringe worthy, but that is what makes it special.

I'm not a mom, or a drunk. But I do love myself a glass of wine. And some of the descriptions she gives, also ring true to me (and I'm sure to any other social drinker). I found it very interesting to see exactly how far people go to hide something. Hiding beer in diaper bags, going out of your way to throw the empty bottles out.  You know your doing something wrong when you go though that length. 

A kudos and a slap in the face to her boyfriend.  He is either very very dumb or very very passive.  If I was in his position, I would have walked out countless times, but he gets a high five for being there for their son. 

This memoir also shows how much it is the persons choice and want in order to become sober. All of a sudden something switched in Jowita's mind that she needed to, and more importantly, wanted to become sober. She said she was attending meetings before, but was never 100% into stopping drinking. So of course she relapsed. 

My only concern about this memoir, is that it was written only a short while after Jowita is sober (again). I hope that by writing this memoir was therapeutic to her and allows her to stay on the sober train, if not for herself, for her son.

For a memoir, go read this. Its very enlightening, and I couldn't put the book down until I scrolled all the way to the end. Plus the cover is pretty awesome. 

“There's this parallel, perhaps less conscious desire, which is to numb myself to the world. To deal with the world tomorrow. Living is difficult. Dying is difficult.” 

BOOK REVIEW: Goodbye Pink Room by Jane Grayshon

When the words 'You are special' are the most dangerous a little girl can hear Rose grew up in a family where she felt inferior to her brothers and afraid of her mother, who warned her fiercely about men who hid in bushes and did unspeakable things to children. But Uncle George made her feel safe, loved and wanted. Her whole family trusted him - so when he wanted to take Rose off for special treats, her parents were delighted. And so was Rose - but she got puzzled when he wanted to take photographs of her in the nude. Soon he was warning her that she had been very naughty and he could get her into a lot of trouble, so she must keep quiet. Knowing she was special to him, she knew he wouldn't want her to get hurt - even though he did hurt her sometimes. And besides, Jesus was watching over her - and Uncle George was a big part of church life. So what he was doing must be all right, mustn't it -and if it wasn't, Jesus would stop him, wouldn't he? - goodreads



Received an ARC copy via netgalley in exchange for an honest review.




Hmm. I don't really know where to start with this book.  I guess I'll start out by giving it 3 stars.  The subject matter is gut wrenching. Rose is telling the story of how her Uncle George molests her. It is written by another author through Roses' words and experiences - so at times it is a little choppy and hard to follow at times. But, it also gives you a sense of her innocence (not just from the act of the crime but her age as well). 

Rose is getting sexually molested by her Uncle. At first she is so excited to be given this special opportunity to hang out one on one with her Uncle, just like her brothers.  She wants to be perfect and well behaved so she will be asked to have tea with her again and again.  Until he starts making his moves.  Then she silently prays and prays that it will be okay, and Jesus must be watching over her and putting her through this for the reason.  

The one thing that irked me so much is the reaction from her parents when they find out. Don't go into denial that your brother could do this to your child, don't think she is making it up. Do something about it.  Don't force your child to live with this fear anymore.  Obviously I dont' know the full story of that, but come on... 

I read someone else's review and this stuck out; if a person is brave enough to tell the story, we should be brave enough to read it. And that's exactly why I read these types of stories. It sucks, it makes you want to cry and punch people in the face, but in the end I'm always glad I stuck through it. 

So, on that while I don't suggest you run out and buy this particular book, I do think if you happen to come across it, pick it up and read it.  Yes it is graphic at times, so be prepared. And also be prepared that it is written under the guise of a young girl so the flow of the stories and writing isn't always pleasurable. 

Listen to the Squawking Chicken by Elaine Lui

I hadn't heard of this book until my mom gave it to me to read.   I mean, its something I'd probably read though.  I mean for the longest time the ring tone for my mother was the clucking chicken one.

Did I enjoy it? Yes and No.

It definitly had a few to lots of funny stories, none laugh out loud though. Just like "rrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeealllly....."

Her mother, aka the Squawking Chicken is a stereotypical Chinese mother who had a very tough upbringing. And what made her better is that she had no filter. She said whatever she wanted, Of course that could make her look like a brat. But underneath her random squawkings, there was some sort of message underneath. Yes, you may have to dig deep to understand it, but still....

I enjoyed the story about all her Feng Shui stuff. Just because her mother told her to eat a papaya a day, she did. That's just awesome.

“That’s what a bitch feng shui and fortune-telling can be. Not only do you have to follow it, you have to fucking enjoy it at the same time.” 

 It also shined some light on some of Asian cultures, which I never really understood.

A no because I am a fan of Lainey's blog. I admit I haven't read it in quite some time, but I remember it being snarky. And I was hoping for more of that snarkiness while reading this. I also expected a bit more laugh out loud moments.

I do recommend this book for someone who wants a light read that doens't require much concentration. And I mean, we all have crazy mothers (stories) who do things that we just smile and nod at and hope to see the message they are trying to portray...

BOOK REVIEW: Trafficked: My Story of Surviving, Escaping, and Transcending Abduction into Prostitution by Sophie Hayes

Just a few years ago everything changed. I was trafficked. I was deceived by a man who said that he loved me. I was a product and a vehicle to make money. But I am a survivor.”

Sophie Hayes, a young, educated woman, was spending an idyllic weekend in Italy with her boyfriend, who she had known for nearly 5 years. But on the day she planned to return home, he made it clear that she wasn't going anywhere, threatening to kill her family if she didn’t help him pay off his debt from a drug deal gone wrong.

So began six months of working the streets as a prostitute in a country where Sophie didn’t speak the language, nobody knew her whereabouts, and escape seemed impossible.

This year, over 700,000 women will be forced into sex slavery. Nearly 50% of them know their captors.

The first known woman to be trafficked out of the UK, Sophie’s true story exposes the chilling reach of trafficking where we’d least expect it, and reveals the sinister impact of a seemingly innocent relationship. .

 

 

Wow. Another hard read. Which means another hard review to write. 

 

Sophie Hayes is a normal young adult. She is very close to her mother, works a decent job, loves hanging out with friends and going dancing. The usual.  One night she meets someone, Kas. Kas is interested in more, but Sophie- having a hard time trusting men (thanks to her father) dismisses it. Eventually through various random meet-ups they become friends. He becomes the shoulder to cry on, the unbiased opinions on her struggles with work, life, relationships. A friend that Sophie trusts. After Sophie has rather hard break-up, Kas suggests her coming to Italy to visit and clear her head.

 

Once in Italy, her life is changed forever. Kas suddenly switches gears and becomes any one's worst nightmare. Forcing Sophie to enter the life of prostitution so he can pay off his debts. What a great friend hey- and like there aren't any other ways he could have thought of- like hmm DO IT YOURSELF!. If she refuses he threatened to kill her family. He also brought up the fact a couple of times, that people have had shittier lives than she does, so she should just accept that she has to help him because loving someone means having to make sacrifices. I'm sorry Kas. You choose the life to be a drug dealer- you chose to have a shitty life. Don't make someone else have one because you fucked up.

 

Throughout this time, Sophie is both physically and verbally abused making her feel like she is worthless. And I guess after hearing that multiple times a day, and getting beat for doing something so minimal as putting too much spaghetti sauce on the noodles, you believe it. You are brain washed into thinking you are shit. RUN SOPHIE, RUN! That's all I was screaming in my head while reading it. Yet, she couldn't.

 

“Part of the problem was that I couldn't seem to get past the fact that I hadn't tried to escape from Kas. Even in France, when he'd left me on my own for several days, I'd carried on working [as a prostitute] and doing all the things he'd told me to do. And although I knew that it was because of the fear he'd so carefully and deliberately instilled in me, I still felt as though I'd somehow colluded in what had happened to me - despite knowing, deep down, that nothing could have been further from the truth.”

 

 

It comes out today, and I do recommend people to buy it. It is an eye opener into the world of sex slaves and trafficking. Its absolutely horrible to think that this is happening in today's day and age. It is not just a third world occurrence.

 

It's easy to dismiss girls who work on the streets as deadbeats or drug addicts without ever thinking about why they're working as prostitutes. And the truth is that many of them have been trafficked and they work long, exhausting, miserable, soul-destroying hours for men who are cruel and violent. They're constantly afraid, not just because of what might be done to them if they don't do what they're told, but also because of the very real threats that are made against their families and the people they love.

What kind of person does that to another human being?

BOOK REVIEW: Sixteen, Sixty-One by Natalie Lucas

Natalie Lucas was just 15 when she began a close relationship with a man in his early sixties. Matthew opened Natalie’s mind and heart to philosophy and literature. Within months they had entered into the intense, erotic affair that they would disguise as an innocent intergenerational friendship for several years. Together they mocked the small-town busybodies around them, laughing at plebs like her parents and his in-laws, who were all too blinkered by convention to live pure lives. Only Natalie and Matthew were truly free.

Or so she believed. But when Natalie left her hometown for university and decided she wanted to try to live a normal life, Matthew’s affection soon turned into a consuming obsession.

Written with remarkable candor and grace, Sixteen, Sixty-One is more than an account of suburban grooming: it is the gripping story of a young girl’s sexual awakening and journey into womanhood


This is another one of those memoirs where you just don't know how to rate it or write about. Take a look at the synopsis again. Its a relationship with a 44 year age difference. Let that sink in.

This book isn't about the romantic side of things at all. Its about an OLD man abusing his authority and persuading an innocent girl into this relationship. Natalie was technically in the wrong place at the wrong time, with normal teenage issues. Matthew honed in on that and helped her through these difficult times, being her friend. Someone they could bullshit about literature with each other. Then romance and love into the picture. It should be noted that it was never forced and that it did seem like they were truly in love. But, age does and should play a big red flag in a lot of relationships.


This memoir is basically a coming of age story.  Natalie grew up, went to university, studied and travelled abroad. All the while questioning her sexuality. Her self. Her worth. And I did think that her going to America is what potentially saved her. She finally had her distance from Matthew and throughout the whole time she started to see how dependent they were on each other and that it should stop.

The whole relationship was fucked up. Matthew was fucked up. You can definitely see it in his obsessive and utterly abusive emails. The only sad thing is how fucked up it probably left Natalie.

This book reads like a fiction but its real life. That is why it is so hard to write a full review or recommendation for it.

BOOK REVIEW: Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

I though this book would be soooo funny. Out of all the comedian memoirs I've been reading lately (Ellen DeGeneres, Mindy Kaling) I had high hopes for Chelsea. I think she is a hilarious talk show host, I am usually nodding in agreement and thrilled that she had the balls to say some of the things we all think off. 

That is not what you get with this book. I was even drinking mojitos during the majority of my reading time! I kept expecting to laugh out loud, instead I was shaking my head.

She comes across as rude and lewd. They way she writes make her seem like a shittyfriend too. Very judgemental.  And truth be told I am also a judgemental bitch. I think thats why I like reviewing things, but really Chelsea, really? She however would be fun to play YOURS with.

The worst part, was probably the second last chapter with the midget. I would like to state that I have absolutely no problems with the vertically challenge but Chelsea's obsession with them was slightly terrifying.

I will provide a few of my almost laugh out loud moments and not just when you type LOL because you have nothing else to say and don't want to hurt the other persons feeling. (this is why it garners 2 stars)

"I rolled over and picked up Us Weekly magazine off the floor. The cover had a picture of Angelina, Brad, and their little Eskimo son, Maddox. I saw staring at the photo, wondering why this little boy looks so pissed off in every picture.

At first I thought he was just pissed about his Mohawk, but then I realized he’s probably furious. Maddox must have thought he hit the jackpot when some A-list celebrity rescued him from third-world Cambodia, only to discover that she was going to shuffle him back and for the to EVERY other third-world country in the universe. He’s probably like, “When the fuck are we gonna get to Malibu, bitch?”

 

 

“Then a homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This happens to be something that I have a real problem with: homeless people with pets who approach you for food when they have a perfectly delicious dog standing right there?” 

 

 

I did really enjoy the Prison Break chapter.

 

Based on this book, I am not sure that I will read her other books. I just don't think she can cut it as a writer. Or I would invest in the audiobook version as that may help.

 

2 stars

 

 

 

BOOK REVIEW: The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

This was my reaction to a lot of stories presented in this book…

 

Ok, now that that is out of the way. The Glass Castle is a memoir written by Jeannette Walls of her childhood. First off, I have no idea who this chick is- so I wasn't swayed one way or the next. Her childhood is not typical and is no picnic; which kind of made me feel bad for complaining about mine at times.  Jeannette and her 3 siblings traveled like nomads with their nonconformist and some would say mentally ill but unaware of it parents, settling in little dusty desert towns until her dad decided it was time to pack up because the mafia was coming.

That’s the type of father he was.  A self-proclaimed drunk gambler, he had a bunch of conspiracy theories medaling around in his brain about the government and how they were all after them. He was a genius though, with great ideas. You could tell Jeanette  idolized her father, of course she didn’t know that he was crazy at the time but they had a bond that he didn't have with his other children.They built this dream of a Glass Castle which they would build in the desert financed by gold- one reason they kept moving.

Her mom was an artist. If she ever sold any pieces it was never mentioned but that is what she spent all the money on.  She would rather do something exciting than to cook a meal for her children- which is shown in the first chapter when Jeannette burns herself cooking hot dogs. She is 3. 3 years old. Cooking hot dogs! I didn’t even know how to say hot dog when I was 3, let alone cook one!  

There were a few cringeworthy parts; such as when after  the dad decided to pack up and leave, one of their first big moves. The dad came in yelling that they had to pack everything in an hour, to take only what they needed and while they were in the car, the cat was meowing and the dad stopped and threw the cat out of the car. He' was all like...

 

 

Another WTF moment was her parent’s reaction to sexual abuse.  The whole, well you gotta learn to stick up for your attitude. UMM! You’re the parents!  Step up. Provide for your children!

“If you don't want to sink, you better figure out how to swim”

Eventually, the money just couldn’t keep up with them and they had to settle in a small ass dingy town.  The Walls bought a hole. All I could imagine was this little shack that was more of a death trap. No heating, no electricity, no  plumbing that they had to shit in a bucket and played ‘rock, paper, scissors’ over who got to dump it out.  In fact they were so shit poor, forcing Jeannette and her brother to dig through garbage pails at lunch during school so they could eat enough.  I just couldn’t fathom that. This was all while the mom hoarded food while her kids barely had anything but garbage leftovers to eat. I mean Jeannette even called it our and said “It’s really not that hard to put food on the table if that's what you decide to do.”

Eventually the siblings all flee to New York to start a new life. One that didn’t involve starving or picking up and moving every few months and what becomes of her parents is something. You can tell she is ashamed of them but never completely ignored them.  She still loved her parents and tried to help them- but you could tell her and the rest of the siblings got to the point of why try anymore?  

“I wanted to let the world know that no one had a perfect life, that even the people who seemed to have it all had their secrets.”

I definitely enjoyed this book and I am really starting to like memoirs.  I couldn’t put it down once I started reading. However some of the stories hit a little close to home. Not to say that I ate garbage or only bathed once a week.  But the father reminded me of someone I knew and it made me sad, angry, conflicted I guess. I do recommend this book, another good book club pick.  It’s an eye opener for sure. I know people live like this. I just can’t believe it.   4.5 stars!

BOOK REVIEW: Let's Pretend This Never Happened ( A Mostly True Memoir) by Jenny Lawson

 This is one of the books I featured on Judge A Book by It's cover. If you remeber correctly I guess it was about some medieval superhero mouse named Romeo.

I wasn't far off.  The mouse on the cover is actually a taxidermy of mouse named Hamlet von Schnitzel. I love all the names she gives her pets adn taxidermies- as a side note.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened is well a mostly true memoir of blogger Jenny Lawson. I would have known this if I actually read the back flap. I never head of Jenny before, but after reading the first chapted I was hooked. She has the same sort of humor as me so it made reading it easy.

This book is not for people who don't like the word vagina.  Jenny uses it in a lot of variety of contexts, so be warned.  Fuck is also used quite a bit. Not together though. So, do not read if you don't like swearing.



Her childhood stories are fantastic. Growing up in Texas with a taxidermist dad brings a lot of great happenings, such as wearing a deer sweater.  She also touches serious issues such as social anxiety disorder- but does so in a very supportive and hilarious manner.

She writes in a way that she talks- which is awesome, as that is how I like to do things around here. I love the interactions between her and her husband, and can only imagine what the rest of their conversations are like,and can only think he is a saint, or a little bit crazy too.  The letter chapter is effin' hilarious, especially because I can see myself reacting the same way.

If you need a funny and simple book. Read this. 4 stars.

Here are some quotes:

“You should just accept who you are, flaws and all, because if you try to be someone you aren't, then eventually some turkey is going to shit all over your well-crafted facade, so you might as well save yourself the effort and enjoy your zombie books.”

 

“...I just want to clarify that I don't mean 'without my vagina' like I didn't have it with me at the time. I just mean that I wasn't, you know...displaying it while I was at Starbucks. That's probably understood, but I thought I should clarify, since it's the first chapter and you don't know that much about me. So just to clarify, I always have my vagina with me. It's like my American Express card. (In that I don't leave home without it. Not that I use it to buy stuff with.)”  

 

  “If someone asked me to pick out my own vagina’s mug shot out of a lineup of vaginas, I’d be helpless. And probably concerned about what exactly my vagina had been doing that constituted a need for its own mug shot.” 

--see lots of vagina

 

BOOK REVIEW: Is Everyone Hanging Out WIthout Me?(And Other Concerns) by Mandy Kaling

 

I like Mindy Kaling. I like her in the Office. And every time that ‘Mindy Project’ commercial comes on, I think to myself that I should watch it.  I like her snarkiness, the in your face says what is on your mind humor. I only wished that it presented itself in the book more than a few times. I do wish there were more laugh out loud moments.  There were lots of “Ha Ha Ha….” moments though.  Like during her “alternate title’ chapter, with some gems such as The Girl With No Tattoo and Harry Potter Secret Book #8!

It is definitely more of an ‘Autobiography’ than Ellen DeGeneres book (link) latest book.  And it was humbling to read that she just didn’t land into being a celebrity. She worked at it, went to university, lived in a tiny ass apartment with her best friends, and then slowly started getting noticed.  I also liked how she seems like she is a great friend, based on her “Best Friend Rights and Responsibilities” essay.  I loved it and truly agree with all of them ‘ such as letting her know that she looks fat but in a gentle way. Her essays on different topics such as ‘I Love Diets’, ‘In defense of chest hair’  is in stark contrast to the first half of the book- in which she describes her traditional Indian upbringing, hanging out with a core group of friends and liking having quiet evenings in watching TV with her parents. But I like them; they added more humor to the memoir.   I found the whole one night stand being an opportunity to get murdered essay hilarious too!

And now for some quotes:

“I’m the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces rather than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.”

“I’m only marginally qualified to be giving advice at all. My body mass index is certainly not ideal, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars because I never have cash on me, and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked the Anthropologie Sale section. I’m kind of a mess.”

“I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.”

“Once I saw Paris Hilton leaving a restaurant in Hollywood and the paparazzi cameras were all over her. It looked so unpleasant. It wasn't because she didn't look sensational - she was that perfect combination of fashionable and slutty - it was because the paparazzi guys were shouting these insanely rude and intrusive questions at her. Like, asking her who she was sleeping with and stuff. I was kind of interested in the answer, so I was glad they asked, but it was still gross.”

“I don't want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat” (hahah this is so me and Garett).” 

It’s between 3.5 and 4 stars. It was a super easy read as she alludes to : “This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It’s mostly pink. If you’re reading this book every night for months, something is not right.” Which I think is awesome. It is entertaining at most points, not being in your face funny, but a write as you talk kind of book, which is my forte.   I also think I will now re-watch the Office and perhaps actually start The Mindy Project. I would also love to be her best friend now. Okay, this may be due  only to the fact that she compared her friendship to a Harry Potter reference and that was awesome! ("Bren and I befriended each other early on. We clung to each other with blind loyalty, like Lord Voldemort and his snake, Nagini. I, of course, was Nagini.")