Questions of Happiness

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best. Work only for the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvements of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is you." - Christian D. Larson

It's like, there's this person that you want to be for other people. To make them happy. To make them proud of you. And then there's yourself. And sometimes it's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. Where do you begin to make yourself happy. Make yourself proud of you. What if they contradict each other? The making of yourself happy and the making of other people. What do you do first?

I know this is pretty heavy shit for a friday morning but it's something thats been on my mind lately. And I think it's been stemming from the fact that my job contract is going to be up in a couple months. Hopefully that will change and  it will be longer. It' s not that I even like my job, but I'm going to be at the fork in the road that one intersection says keep doing what I'm doing and the other says stop and do the thing that makes you happy, even if people judge and sneer at you for that. 

I just don't know man. I just don't know.