I can't believe you are going to be 39 soon. I hope the past 10 years have been good for you.
I am writing this at work. You know, the place where you loathed going to for three years, but they promised security. So you stayed, you learnt how to make the most of your day. But then they took back that promise and now you are 4 days away from unemployment. I know you were afraid of the unknown. That it stressed you out. You were scared that any new opportunity won't grant you the same freedoms.
Maybe now you are in your dream job. I hope you are.
Maybe now you are a mom and pulling your hair out and covered in snot and shit f your little gremlins who you love with all your heart. I hope you are.
Maybe you and G are planning a date night that you haven't had in a long time. I hope you are.
If not, future Kendra... I hope that you finally accepted where you are in life. That you realize that things happen for a reason. Where ever your life took you, if you are surrounded by the kids you wanted or if for some reason you and G could never fulfill that wish; know that its for a reason. Marvel in it. Look at the bright side. My hope is that in 10 years you have learned to put more of a positive spin on things. I know you had problems with that before.
I hope that you have found acceptance in your body. You battled so much with hating your body. That being said, I hope that you are still active. I hope that you are still working out, doing yoga, walking your (new) dogs, and eating healthy. I know it sucks. And that you are probably drinking a glass of wine right now while reading this, but I hope you haven't turned it into a dependency.
I hope you found a hobby that elevates you. That makes you so happy and complete. If it it is still reading, great. You need to keep that mind sharp.
I guess Kendra, I hope you have finally learned to take things as they come. There may be a bigger plan for you.