Dear Mom of a 1 Year Old

Dear Momma of a ONE year old;

You made it one year!  Give yourself a pat on the back. Or better yet, pour yourself a glass of wine.  You deserve it. You somehow managed to survive. He somehow managed to survive.

You managed to somehow get by on a lack of sleep. And not that he isn't sleeping. He is. But he still whines and whimpers at least 3 times a night, so you don't exactly get a full 6-8 hours either. On those glorious nights where he manages to sleep in its entirety,  you feel like superwoman.  You get excited when 7pm gets closer and H actually wants to go to bed, and falls asleep quickly. You revel in that time off, to have some one on one time with G.

You managed to run a household. You know that when (and if) he decides to nap. its go time. You make coffee, you shower, you eat,  you cook, you clean, you packed up your entire house, you fold laundry, and yes sometimes you nap or watch something mindless on TV. Hell you need a break too sometime.

Especially now that Hunter is walking.  He wants to explore. Climb. He has already given himself a black eye. You know he is going to be a bruiser. And you know he is going to be exhausting. Some days all you can do turn on Paw Patrol and watch him play while you sit on the couch drinking your coffee wine, waiting for G to come home.  Somedays you have no energy to think of something new and exciting to do. And that's okay.  Know that he is learning so much right now, that even a simple trip to the grocery store is mind blowing to him.

The teething. The growing pains. All suck. But the snuggles.  You sure do love the snuggles, looking down at his sweet face, knowing that you are his only comfort at that moment in time. That makes the heart swoon. It makes it worth all the crying and sleepless nights.

The hair pulling and biting- well that can fuck right off. Who knew little hands and teeth could hurt so much. And H rolling around while getting his diaper changed, you pray he is ready for potty training sooner than later, but hell, at least you've mastered changing a diaper while standing up. And you've only had shit smeared on you a couple 6 times.

And at the end of the year of maternity leave, when most mom's are heading back into the work force, you decided to say goodbye to a career (at this time) and become a SAHM.  The pressure of wanting to raise a perfect little boy, while having fun and fulfilling activities to do all day - all while trying to make friends in a brand new (small) town... is daunting. It's on your mind a lot.  But remember, sometimes Paw Patrol will be enough.

Look back at the past year with fondness. With admiration. You raised a beautiful baby boy who is now a toddler. That year went by so fast. When you were so proud that he murmured for the first time, to rolling over, to sitting up, to crawling, now to walking. Soon he will be talking, potty trained, and then going to schools, playing sports and having his first love, moving out, travelling the world.   The growing up scares you, but you also cannot wait for Hunter to grow up. To experience all that the world has to offer.

You still can't believe that a year has gone. Also, don't ever apologize for posting to many pics on instagram. Your kid is the cutest kid alive and well everyone else just has to suck it up.

Love,  K

10 days old

363 days old